Little Things

These past few weeks have been really difficult for me, but it feels like things are changing. There's an upturn of luck, and as far as I can see (for now, that is) I don't have anything before me that I'm particularly stressed about. Besides the usual, of course -- balancing working full time and classes beginning again is exhausting, but that's a type of stress I'm used to dealing with.

Now that I am free from that feeling of impeding doom I'd been experiencing recently, I can take the time and truly focus on what is happening to me now, in the moment. It's allowing me to appreciate the little things.

Last night as I was driving home from my class I had one of those moments. It was late and dark, and the roads were pretty empty. I was driving over the Naval Academy Bridge, a favorite bridge of mine because when you're driving up it you cannot see the other side sloping down so it looks like you're driving into the sky. As I was driving toward the stars, with the bright white glow of the Academy to my left and the streaky gold headlights of a bridge across the water to my right, one of my favorite songs came on. I wasn't listening to a playlist, but a radio station that was completely random which made it all the better. I smiled, rolled my windows down, and turned up the music. I was exhausted, but I was so happy in that moment, on my way home to people I love and food waiting for me in the crock pot.

Little things.

It's hitting me in waves, this contentment. I'm relatively unused to this sort of feeling, and I'm learning to embrace it as it's happening and not worry myself about wondering how long it will last. Trying to be "mindful," and all that -- like they tell anxious people like me to do. Well, I'd never been able to manage such  mindfulness before. There was always something creeping up to cause me to worry and look forward with nervousness. Now, the times that I do look forward, it's with more excitement than anything else. Again, that's new for me. I like it.

Little things are so important to me now. They build into something great. My favorite part of the day is getting to go to bed and wake up next to someone I love. I'm grateful I have a job I find fulfilling, no matter how difficult or tiring the work. My family, friends, and even coworkers are generous, thoughtful, and supportive. I'm taking time to look around me and notice how beautiful the world is, and what gifts the universe has decided to give me. Thank you, universe.

I have a lot of good things in my life, and I'm not going to take them for granted. I'm going to practice this mindfulness, this gratitude, every day and hope that this happiness doesn't have an end, because I'm really starting to get used to it now.

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