Don't stand still

It's been a while since I've written a new blog post, but I've been incredibly busy and -- in all honesty -- I've also felt a bit uninspired. The stress of life was taking away my energy to think of anything worth saying or doing outside of the whole "surviving" bits of life. It's why I haven't read/finished a book since October. (I know, I know, I'm remedying this problem.) It's also why I haven't truly written anything of substance since the middle of November. It's frustrating to say the least.

But all this pent up creativity has led to some pretty interesting thoughts. I guess you get to observe more when you're just standing by watching life unfold in front of you. So let's not allow my... "time off" ... to go to waste.

One of the most important insights I was slapped in the face with in the past month is this: Don't continue to do something simply because it is easier than to stop doing it. Fear of not having something sometimes stops us from letting go of what is toxic. Or not even necessarily toxic, but just negative. If it's not making you happy, if it's not something that is improving your life, then let it go. And in its place, pull tighter that which makes you smile. Friends, family, books, whatever it is in your life that makes you feel at peace. Hold on to that.

It's something I've seen play out before me. People stay in a relationship that they are unsatisfied or unhappy with because it is easier to continue dating said person instead of letting them go. Letting someone go is hard. I get it -- it's scary to take that chance that by dropping someone, you might not have anyone's hand to hold. But there will always be someone there, even if it's not right away. No one is ever as alone as they believe themselves to be. All we have to do is reach out. Let go of what's behind you so you can move on to what lies ahead.

This realization spreads beyond relationships, of course. I associate it closely to my own anxiety. For the longest time, I was coping with anxiety in the same way. I'd do the same thing over and over again (mainly, removing myself from situations that made me the slightest bit anxious, which led to me isolating myself in damaging ways) and be upset that I wasn't getting better. That, if anything, my anxiety was getting worse instead of better. Well, of fucking course it was. You have to do things that may be uncomfortable to grow. You have to change your habits to become better, change your routine to be happier.

Don't stand still in your life, because that's as good as giving up. Say yes to more things, and focus on the light. You'll notice the darkness fades significantly when you surround yourself with lovely positive people. Hug them close to you and let go of everything else. Make the changes that scare you so you can become the amazing person you are meant to be. I believe in you, and I love you with all of my heart for being so brave.

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